Let It Out

I have had my fair share of whining on this blog and I continually tell myself to focus on the good and stop whining because I am lucky in so many ways. But I just need to let it out so here are a few things that are starting to drive me crazy...

My swollen feet which are way more swollen then before. I have full on cankles and they are not pretty. They also hurt to walk on and of course I don't fit into shoes. This is all old news so I won't belabour it but yeah it's been a long time and a lot of swelling so it's getting old to me too.

My sore back which overall has been pretty good considering I have a history of mild/medium back pain. However, I am not able to do the stretches and/or lie in the positions that make it feel better.

My poor numb hands. Okay so I know I mentioned that I went to the doctor and got a sleeping brace for my wrist which has been working, sort of. I switch is back and forth during the night depending on which hand is really feeling the pain and overall sleep is happening so that's good. However, during the day my hands no longer wake up completely which is extremely annoying. Basically it feels like when you have your mouth frozen at the dentist and then the freezing starts to wear off but it's still sort of tingling, that's where I'm at permanently. I can no longer lift anything heavier then a coffee cup, cutting bread is a challenge and tying my shoes is no longer an option. It sort of feels like I have some kind of degenerative disease and everyday I have less control over my limbs.

Oh and I almost forgot my skin has been terrible and seems to be getting worse. I have awful acne on my face and chest and it drives me crazy. It's just one more thing to make me feel ugly as I balloon into a whale. No glowing for me, unless you count red, irritated skin as glowing which most people do not.

Okay, I think those are my list of complaints most of which are not new but just getting worse and starting to make me feel helpless which in turn makes me crazy.

Let's focus on the good...

I have an amazing husband who despite having a tone of things going on in his life helps me put my shoes on in the morning, rubs my swollen feet at night, takes care of pretty much all things domestics along with all things moving/unpacking related and seems to do all this without any bitterness. What would I do without him?

I am also lucky to be on my feet. I have spoken to a number of women who have been ordered to go on bed rest for 6 weeks, sometimes longer and who have had premature babies (which can bring health complications). I feel very happy that I am still mobile (a relative term) and that the baby is healthy and developing nicely.

I am very thankful to not have any stretch marks (yet). Supposedly 80% of women will get stretch marks but so far my skin is all clear (not including zits which I'm hoping are not permanent).

I have wonderful supportive friends both here and in Ontario. Friends who have been excited and amazing throughout my pregnancy. Friends who have had sympathy and given me a shoulder when needed. Friends who have had babies and who I have been able to learn through. Amazing, amazing friends.

I have an outstanding family both biological and through marriage. They are extremely excited to be adding a new member to the clan. They have all been emotionally and sometimes financially supportive and I am forever grateful. They have also been respectful of me as a person, not pushing anything on me but rather offering me options which is to me the best gift a family could offer.

And of course I am so thankful to be pregnant and that this pregnancy has gone off without complications. That in a few weeks I'll have a baby that will be a part of my life forever and all these silly little symptoms will be quickly forgotten.

Clearly the things I have to be thankful for far outweigh the negatives but sometimes you just got to let it out.