Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Looking down at my new baby daughter was unimaginably wonderful.

But the funny thing about childbirth is that during labour the world is a blur. A painful, messy blur or at least it was for me. Then when the baby is born it is amazing, the pain disappears, just like that and not just because you are staring down at your beautiful new child but if there are no complications and no drugs, the pain is just gone, just like that. However, with that comes a somewhat awkward moment. I'm referring to the wait...the waiting for the after-birth (placenta). All of a sudden I was all too aware of the people in the room; the doctors, nurses, the lights and my unabashed nakedness (I wasn't even wearing a bra). And of course as I come back to reality and time slows down, it almost seems to over compensate by being really slow. I am trying to enjoy my first moments with my daughter but it feels as though the entire room is staring at my legs spread and tapping at their watches. It required actual focus to ignore the room and just stare at my baby.

It finally came and no it didn't hurt. The doctor was downtown stitching me up (I don't think it was bad but I actually didn't want to know any details). While that was going on I was simply staring at my new daughter in stock and awe. Then I was shocked further when I noticed that my baby had two teeth. At first I thought I was seeing things but when the pediatrician took her to look her over she confirmed that no I was no crazy and yes my baby was born with teeth. Who knew that was even possible? The teeth were removed, they were not her baby teeth, they were a third set and would in no way interfere with her normal baby teeth developing (we'll see no teeth yet).

Soon after all that I was guided by the nurse to the shower and got cleaned up. When I got back the bed was put back together, with clean sheets and the room was quiet. It was hard to believe that we had been through such an ordeal, it was hard to believe that we had a baby. My husband and I felt that it was all too surreal. We keep looking at each other and our new baby in this peaceful, quiet room and sort of shaking our heads, not understanding the contrast between the perfect peace and joy of our daughter and the screaming insanity of an hour or so earlier.

There was however, nothing awkward about those first few hours, they were the most overwhelmingly beautiful moments of my life.