Today I am 31 years old and I have never been happier.
I love my life. I love my daughter and my husband more then words. I am currently on holiday with my in-laws who I love and who are unbelievably generous.
But I don't want to babble on about the love and gratiude I have for this beautiful life. Instead I wanted to talk about how fast this last year has gone by and how unfortunate it is that when I am at my happiest time seems to fly by so much faster. Why is that?
I currently have a crap camera and I'm just not that good of a photographer anyways so I have been disappointed with my eforts of digitally recording my daughters existance. I thought that I would write funny, cute and ridiculous antiodots a few times a months but the time just disappears. I woke up this morning to be 31 years old with a beautiful 7 month old baby lying next to be on vacation and I thought life is good but where is it going in such a hurry? I am trying (which takes no effort) to enjoy my time with my baby. I think that at least once a day that this is it! I stare at her sleeping, laughing, or just being and I think this is it! This is what life is all about. But how do I hold onto these moments? I take pictures but they pale, I try and write but when I sit down what can I say that will capture the moments in the day that mean so much. Last night for example she just wouldn't go down for the night. Hours of quiet time and feeding were going nowhere. Finally I took my moment to lay her in the crib and then I sang softly with my hand resting on her chest and in the dark she smiled at me and fell asleep. Melt. Sigh. Tear. I love you so much.
How can I bottle the moments? Today that I pulled her socks off and her tiny toes stretched out and I was forced to playfully bite her feet while waiting for a traffic light to change. It breaks my heart to think of how much I love her and that these moments can't be somehow stored for future visits.
For today I will just be gratiful for today and try and suck it all up and enjoy every minute.