Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Out the Window

So I always imagined that when I got pregnant I would be so amazing to my body: I would eat only the most healthy organic foods available; I would exercise and go to yoga; and I would do absolutely everything possible to take care of myself and the growing life inside me.

Well, I am learning quickly that all the best intentions can easily fly out the window when reality is imposed. Now, I'm not saying that all those things aren't good and in fact I do strive to live out a beautiful and well balanced pregnancy, but morning sickness is a powerful taskmaster who does not care about any of my good intentions.

Once morning sickness hit--and, as I've mentioned, for me it hit hard--I was laid up or at least laid out on the couch in front of the TV for a good three weeks. The constant feeling of nausea made the idea of going to yoga, or to the gym at all, completely out of the question. I was 'lucky' not to be working yet (how women go to work with morning sickness and keep their pregnancy quiet is beyond me).

I took full advantage of my unemployment and did nothing, except of course eat. Did I mention the cure for this nauseous sick feeling is food? How ironic. I think this whole pregnancy is a metaphor for parenthood: best intentions often fly out the window and the cure can be found in the most unlikely place. But I am getting off point: the true point is how much I ate those first few weeks I became aware of a growing life inside of me. It became carb central and I became the monster on the couch requiring regular feedings. My husband obliged me (perhaps to a fault).

I'm sure it goes without saying that I have quickly put on a healthy 10 pounds and that my pants are increasingly tight. Now I must come to terms with the new body that I am now embodying: the pregnant body. I didn't think the weight gain would bother me but I am a woman, a woman who didn't start this journey completely comfortable with her look. And you may be thinking "it's okay, you're pregnant" and that's true, but during the early days no one knows you're pregnant so, let's be honest, you just look fat. I believe that once my tummy rounds out a bit further and I have announced to my co-workers that I am expecting it will be a little easier. But for now I struggle every morning to find the perfect outfit that is not too tight and not too baggy in order to conceal my lovely emerging bump.


  1. Good intentions always go out the window for me! Especially in January and hey if you are nauseous and the only thing that makes you feel better is carbs then eat the carbs, the baby needs food right! One time in your life you REALLY don't need to feel guilty! Can I also just say I can't wait to see you pregnant!!! :) :) :)

  2. I love this blog Jane! Thanks for sharing it with me! Sometime it is hard to surrender to what your body wants. But it sounds like you're doing a great job of listening and not getting down on yourself for not doing the things you envisioned yourself doing. Embrace every minute of this pregnancy Jane, I'm so happy for you and Tim. Don't you feel so creative?

  3. i wanna gobble up that belly already. we are totally going to be molesting you when you visit here!!! oxoxoxo