Saturday, January 30, 2010

Smells

I didn't mention this before, but flatulent gas is another symptom that I, and those around me, are forced to endure because of my pregancy. No one ever mentions that one, do they? But it's right up there as one of the most common symptoms. It's got something to do with the pregnancy hormone slowing motility in the stomach, which in turn allows gas to build up and be released unexpectedly. Sounds fun doesn't it? Trust me when I say that there is nothing fun about it and although I am lucky to work alone most of the time, I do not occupy an island here.

So my own unattractive smells are bad and put me in no position to judge, but this body of mine no longer cares about fairness, so smells of all kinds have been making me sick. Just thinking about unpleasant smells as I sit here typing could make me dry-heave.

This is no joke: smells that shouldn't be greatly offensive now greatly offend me. The most obvious location is the bathroom. The smell of any bathroom, even if it's not dirty or doesn't smell bad, can make me throw up. It's like my body has decided that if it detects a bathroom then it's convenient to get sick at that moment. Which of course it's not, especially at work--where I don't want to explain throwing up in the middle of the day for 'no reason'.

But the story that kills me happened last Saturday night. My husband and I went out with another couple and had an amazing time at a fun little tapas bar down the street. When we came home and went to bed everything seemed fine, until my lovely husband let out some built up stomach gas of his own. This is a fact of (married) life: people fart. It's not pleasant but it's not the end of the world either. Except this time. I smelled his rancid flatulence and before I had time to respond I was dry heaving, then throwing up in my mouth. I quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom where I proceeded to throw up all those lovely tapas I had eaten. My husband could not contain himself and laughed hysterically while I attempted to yell back "It's not funny!" in between up-chucks.

Good times.

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