Okay so I should have known by the name of this prenatal class (Dancing Stars) that is would be a little well....you know...earthy but our hospital class was cancelled and I really wanted to take a class and get more information. Also I wanted my husband to learn about what to expect and what to do as my main (perhaps only) labour supported.
We started the class sitting in a circle on the floor, in these sort of floor loungers with back support. They looked pretty comfortable but getting up and down out of these chairs is a gong show for all the 7 plus month pregnant women in the class. There are about 6 couples total and we were asked by the instructor to introduce ourselves and include our due dates, health care provider and where we hope to have this baby. This sounded like a reasonable request. So aside from a few couples referring to the due date and birthing process using the pronoun 'we', something I can't stand since definitely 'we' are not pregnant and definitely 'we' are not delivering this baby, it's definitely all me. Aside from that and the fact that a surprising number of couples are planning at home births or water births, most people seemed nice, open and normal. That is until the couple (specifically the women) to my left started her introduction which included a rant about how they have a midwife and all the reasons that midwives are better then doctors. Thanks for coming out lady but I'm pretty sure we're just stating our facts at this point not preaching our choices. Plus who makes all these judgmental statements in an introduction when they have no idea who the other people in the room are or what their situations are?
Obviously when my husband and I introduced ourselves it was slightly awkward sharing that I have an OB and I plan on delivering in a hospital. It took all my will power not to state how I am very excited to receive drugs and good luck with the at home, water birth cause I'll be laughing all the way to the epidural. Or making some other passive aggressive comment but the fact is I am very comfortable with my decisions thus far and don't really need to justify them to anyone, especially some random in my first prenatal class.
I don't really care what other people do, in fact I am very pleased that in this day and age we have so many options. Doctors, midwives, doulas, hospitals, drugs, water births, home births, it's great to have choices and people should do what works for them. I just find it very annoying how high and mighty and judgemental some people can be , especially when none of us has done this yet and everyone is different.
At the end of the class I couldn't help thinking of something my brother in-law who has recently finished medical school and is now a doctor said to me, "women can do whatever they want but from my experience in the end they always scream for the drugs." I looked around the room, took notes and thought to myself, 'I wonder if we have some kind of reunion after our births, if these women will have changed their tunes?' I hope that everyone gets the experience they want and that all the births are successful but I know from friends and relatives that things don't always work out the way you plan. I have ideas of how I want things to go but I'm also open to the fact that I've never done this before and I have no idea how I will react, how the baby will be or any of it and I am personally grateful to live in a time and country where I have so many options and medical experts. For now I will take comfort in being in a clean hospital, with expert doctors and the possibility of drugs if needed and pray that I'm not forced into some natural home birth, with my husband delivering the baby while on the phone with 911 (this is the only scenario that I am completely not open too which means it may happen).