My lovely friend reminded me the other day that as funny and fun as it is to write and express all the weird and uncomfortable changes to my body that have occurred during pregnancy it is equally if not more important to express the good things that happen. These good things seem obvious but I agree. When I got pregnant I wanted to get pregnant, I felt 'ready' or as ready as one ever is to have a baby and I knew that I would be in love with this baby no matter what. I didn't expect to feel quite as fat, lazy, swollen and sick as I did hence me writing about these things more often.
I expected to love this baby from the second it was conceived and I did and do. I love being pregnant, knowing that in a few months I'm going to be be a mom and have a new life to take care of. I love thinking about whether it will be a boy or girl. Whether it will look more like me or my husband or some combination of us both. What colour eyes will it have? What colour hair? What kind of personality? I feel kicks regularly now and love them. Sometimes they're gentle and soothing and sometimes they are a bit sharp but they always remind me that I am carrying a life around inside me. These kicks also remind me that this is a little tiny person who is already developing a personality all it's own. It hears us and has patterns of alertness that can be tracked and that is wild and wonderful.
I feel lucky everyday to get to be the one who gets to carry this baby around inside me. I get to be the one that is helping him/her grow and develop and I am the only one who gets to feel him/her kick and move around and that is incredible.
There is nothing surprising to me about the love I feel already and the gratitude I have towards the universe for letting this everyday miracle happen to me but it's true I should say it more.
I love you baby and I am happy to carry you around for another three months and then I guess I'll have to start sharing you with the world so I'll enjoy these moments that are just between us while they last.