Disconnect

This week has been hard. Up until this week, despite my whining I have felt pretty damn good. We have been travelling, visiting friends and family, I even cut a rug at a wedding a couple weeks ago but this week my body has said no more. This week I have been so exhausted, it seems that no amount of rest can satisfy my thirst for sleep. My feet as I have mentioned before are permanently swollen and my legs sort of feel like lead.

My RMT asked me the other day what is the most challenging part of being pregnant and I have to say it's the fact that my mind and body are on two different pages. At work I sit and think about all the things I want to and have to do when I get home; however, as soon as I do get home my body shuts down.

Yesterday at exactly 5 o'clock quitting time the fire alarm went off in our building. This was especially annoying because my office is on the 25th floor and of course all the elevators are shut off. I was willing to wait it out in the office when the announcement came on to start evacuating. I didn't really want to walk down all those stairs but I also felt like if I went slow it wouldn't really be a big deal and it wasn't at first. The first few flights I was fine but then I started to feel the burn, mostly in my knees. I slowed down but kept walking. My mind told me that I was just going down some stairs and it was no big deal but my body started telling me that this was more then it could handle. By the time I got to the bottom my legs were shaking; I have never felt more out of shape in my life. When I got home all I could do was take a shower and soak my burning feet in cold water in order to make emends.

I know that things will go back to normal after I have this baby but right now I just cannot believe how disconnected my mind is from what my body is now capable of. I haven't really felt as big as I know I am until this week. This week it's a reality check; I've got 5-9 weeks left with this pregnancy body and we're going to have to come up with some kind of compromise in order to get through it. I also promise to exercise and be grateful for my body when it does come back to me; something I took for granted in the past.